Okay so I’ve returned from my BelgoBrItalian adventure and I figure I’d try and milk that vacation for some content.
Boho chic needs to go down. This fashion plague is ridiculously prevalent in England, where Kate Moss is a style icon, to the point where I cannot sit idle and let this atrocity continue.
This look features, ill fitted dresses, unnecessary layers of clothing, dangly beaded jewelry, way-too-big sunglasses, and boots. I haven’t a problem with boots ‘cause nothing perfects an outfit like a fierce set of high kicks that accentuate the sensuous long lines of a lady’s legs. I also haven’t much of a quibble with beaded jewelry as long as it’s tasteful but, the size of the jewelry sported in this look is more appropriate for playground Double Dutch than accessorising an outfit.
But my main grievance is with he rest of the look, which cannot hit the clearance rack fast enough.
First, gargantuan sunglasses need to be retired. I cannot fathom why a woman would buy glasses that cover a third of her face. A good pair of glasses should compliment the eyes they cover, not create a new set of monstrously ill portioned ones. If you’re using them as a cover-up for all that late night debauchery, Honey, it ain’t working ‘cause huge glasses only make the randoms think you’ve got something to hide (especially when they’re worn indoors).
Secondly, why a woman would want to wear something referred to as a granny dress
is beyond me. Granddaughters of Sophia Loren
and Grace Kelly
aside, when was the last time you looked at your grandma’s outfit and thought it looked good, let alone good enough to wear yourself? Now I understand that the loose cut of a grandma dress might be really comfortable, but when you're in the prime shape of your life why would you want to hide that with a poorly cut dress when you could accentuate your gorgeous figure with a more fitted* dress or skirt?
But without a doubt the unnecessary layers of Boho is the look’s worst fashion atrocity. Jeans and dresses or skirts should never be worn together. Let me repeat that jeans (or any other pants) and dress or skirts should never worn simultaneously. It’s one or the other, not both. The only reason I could fathom why someone might do this is a climate related one. If it’s too cold to wear a dress or skirt than wear pants I’d rather you wear pants and be warm than shiver in a dress or skirt—even if it is a something as gorgeous as this little number
. I promise nobody will think less of you for leaving that seductive pencil or A-line in the closet; the time when it was unlady-like for a woman to wear pants has long since past. Now, if you’re wearing a skirt or dress and pants together strictly ‘cause you think it looks good, I’ve got some florescent polka-dot patterned culottes I’d like to sell you.
So to reiterate no outfit can be considered chic when it looks like you’ve fashioned it by raiding everything in your brother, mother, older sister and grandma’s closets.
*Please note that all fitted dress or skirts worth wearing are comfortable otherwise they are poorly tailored for you and aren’t worth either purchasing or wearing.